


Selfish

by Imagines_Dreams



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: F/M, fluffy fluff, platonic with a bit of pining, writer!reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 23:36:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17032080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imagines_Dreams/pseuds/Imagines_Dreams
Summary: Both you and Connor were the freaks of high school. While Connor was labeled as the insane freak, you were labeled as the writing freak. You had a notebook everywhere you went, and everyone knew you had a book in the works for forever. Naturally, after you and Connor met, you became best friends.





	Selfish

You had an idea. Whether it was a brilliant idea or dumb idea, you had yet to see. You were a writer, and you wanted to write a book. You had been working towards that goal for so long, but no matter how dedicated you were to that one rough draft, inspiration could strike at any time, even if had nothing to do with your draft.

When that happens, you had to write it down. You had to get the idea down on paper, review it later, and hope that you could come back to said idea later. Most of the time, you ended up spending so much time with the new idea that you forgot about the rough draft waiting for you, but you were weird. You were a writer after all.

You dug through your locker and glanced at your phone. It had been six minutes since you excused yourself from class, so you had a few more minutes to grab your notebook and get back.

You cursed as papers and books fell from your locker.

“An idea?”

You nodded. “That obvious?” You ignored the mess on the ground and continued looking for your notebook.

Your best friend and chosen editor rolled his eyes and bent down to pick up your stuff. “You do realize most of your ideas you deem shit after you write them down, right?”

“Well, Superman, I still have to write them down. Yes!” You grabbed your notebook and kissed the cover. “Victory,” you whispered.

“Freak.”

You nudged Connor in the ribs harshly. “You know it.” You grabbed the books and papers he handed to you and shoved them back in your locker. “Saved me again, Superman.”

“They’re papers, (Y/n).”

You shrugged, closed your locker, and walked as you wrote in your notebook. Connor stayed by your side and made sure not to glance at your writing. You had shared many things with Connor, but he knew that you hated it when people read your work without permission. “Find out if it’s a good idea yet?”

“Don’t know. It won’t even work with my current draft.”

Connor laughed. “Then, you need to write a summary and close the book. You need to finish your draft.”

“Let's hope.” You inhaled through your teeth and finished writing. “Done!” You turned to Connor. “Park after school?” you offered.

“It’s not like we’ve been going to the park every fucking time after school for the last five fucking months, but yes.”

You laughed and shrugged. “I just wanna make sure you’re still my best friend. Can you blame me?”

He raised his eyebrow. “Actually yes.” He gestured to himself. “Look at me. I should be the one asking you that. Still my best friend, freak?”

“Jerk.” You shook your head with a smile and playfully punched his arm. ‘See ya at the park.”

“See ya.” Connor gazed at you as you disappeared into your class. His lips curled into a small smile. How were you still his best friend? He wasn’t sure. But, he was damn sure that he would cherish every moment he had with you.

After school ended, you stared at your notebook and flipped through the pages. After years of making mistakes in writing, you had gotten into the habit of seeing your incomprehensible scribbles on the pages. You pursed your lips and read through your ideas. A lot was horrible, cliche, overused. But, there was one that actually made sense.

You tilted your head and wrote down more notes on the idea.

Connor finally found you in the crowd of students, and he audibly cursed when he saw you with your nose in your notebook and bumping into everyone. Pushed people away so he could walk in front of you.

You sensed your best friend’s presence and linked your arm through his. You held your notebook with one hand while the other kept on writing.

Connor laughed a little and led you to the park. Only when you were seated on the park bench did you slip your arm from Connor’s and finished your idea. “Done,” you breathed out. You handed him the notebook. “Read from here to there, and critique me.” You turned around so your legs were on the bench. You leaned back so you rested on Connor’s side. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes.

Your best friend read over your work. After a few minutes, he said, “It’s actually pretty good, but you’re completely disregarding your side character.”

You got up from your relaxed position and grabbed your notebook. “Which one?”

For the next thirty minutes, Connor and you discussed alternatives to your plot and how to include all characters sensibly. You smiled and jotted down the conclusion the two of you reached. “That’s some amazing editing, Connor.”

He shrugged. He pulled a book from his backpack. “Also, found this. I don’t like romance novels, so maybe you could use it.”

“I’m not writing a romance.”

Connor eyed you. “You can’t get an agent without the fucking romantic subplot, (Y/n). This will help.” After you took the novel from his hands, he added, “Plus, if you read a lot of romance, your romance subplot won’t be as shitty as everyone else’s.”

You read the description on the back. “You’re actually right.” You blinked. “Wait, you found a romance novel in your room, Connor?”

“No! Those things are so fucking cheesy.”

“Connor, do you read romance?” You giggled. Connor Murphy, your best friend and smoker and genius and everything to you, read romance?

Connor blushed and pushed you away from him. “Shut up, Freak.”

You laughed. “Wait, so you do read romance novels?”

Your best friend retreated into his hoodie and slumped on the park bench.

“Oh, Connor.” You pulled back the hood and smiled. “Dude, it’s fine if you do.”

Connor turned away from you and put his hood back up.

“Connor,” you whined. You pulled back his hood, and out of pure stupidity and impulsiveness, you kissed his cheek. “I think reading romance novels makes you more awesome than the you I knew a minute ago, ok?” You laughed. “Plus, now you can tell me if my romance subplot is shitty, and that makes you a better editor.”

Your best friend peered up at you from under his hood. He humphed and crossed his arms as heat pooled in his cheeks. He could still feel your lips on his cheek. “This is embarrassing,” he muttered.

You snuggled into his side. “Fine, we’ll talk about something else.” You stared at the nearby playground. “Talk about the day?”

“My day was bad.”

You pursed your lips. “Swings then?” You sat up. “I’ll race you?”

Connor was off the bench before you. “Eat my dust, (Y/n)!”

“No!” You screamed as you ran after him. “You’re too tall! Connor!”

After you sat on the swing next to his, Connor took his time to observe you, his best friend. You were beautiful, so much that you took his breath away. And that was on a school day after you had run to the swings with dirt on your shoes and pants. What more if he saw you before a party or after you had spent an additional hour getting ready? How was he going to handle you if something like that happened?

Connor averted his gaze as he felt his cheeks burn again. Of course, the girl he falls in love with is his amazing best friend. The girl with a future. The girl who knew him in and out. The girl who supported him no matter what. Connor just didn’t think he deserved you. As a friend or otherwise.

“Connor?” you asked. You knew the boy well enough to know when dark thoughts rolled in. “Hey?” You brushed back his long hair and smiled. “Connor, everything ok?”

He blinked. “Yeah.”

You tilted your head. After a moment or two, you kissed his cheek again. “I’m glad you’re my best friend, Connor.”

His eyes widened slightly. Then, his lips settled into a small grin. “You’re going soft, (Y/n).”

You shrugged. “I might be soft, but it’s still the truth.”

Connor laughed a little. Ok, maybe he didn’t deserve you, but he was selfish. That was something he could live with. If being selfish meant spending as much time with you as possible, he was going to be the most selfish person on the planet.

**Author's Note:**

> I always liked the idea of someone just pining after someone else, and the someone else being oblivious. It's just so cute to think about, and it's wonderful when you realize it happens in real life too.
> 
> If you liked this imagine, please comment! Tell me how I did! Thank you so much!


End file.
